Hi, I’m Amalia and I just turned 30 on December 13th, 2018. That was a scary birthday because deep down something in my fragile little Midwestern heart always believed I would be in a committed relationship by this age. Living in Indianapolis, Indiana doesn’t do much to help with this unspoken expectation. It seems like almost every single one of my friends and acquaintances got spit out of bible college graduation,directly down the isle of the nearest church and into the arms of their beloved.
But somehow for me I’ve been stuck on hellish terrible merry-go-round of relationships that are just not worth my time. From men who send caveman inspired monosyllabic answers to every question I ask on dating apps, to ones who treat every conversation like a competition to see who can be right-est at all times, to the ones who “like me” but are “too busy” to make space in their week for any real semblance of a date, I’m sick of putting up with the bullshit. It’s time to stop putting up with less and waiting around for more. I’m making 30 the year of no more bullshit.
So I’m looking back to look forward. I’m embracing the change from my youthful fairy tale romanticism to my millennial adulting, hard-hitting, no-nonsense reality. I’m re-framing all those relational misadventures and calamitous heartbreaks by recording their triumphs and failures, ridiculing bad and symbolically thanking the good. All in hopes that I will be able to rekindle what made me want to share my life with another stinking human animal in the first place.
Here’s to you, 30, and letting the world know few fucks I have left to give to men who are wasting the energy I want to be using to live my best life. Let’s see what we can do together.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
-Joey Adams
Triflers Need Not Apply 